We Have Contact

Ok. So it happens from time to time. We get annoying spam from thousands of sources. With proper email filtering on your inbox, you can trim out most of the viagra / ciallis emails (are there really that many people online with erectile disfunction?) along with the pornography and cheap software spam. However, from time to time, a new creative spammer comes up with a completely novel way to beat the filters and get through. This request to give me $800,000 was just such a clever email. 

Let's review it shall we:

From : Mr Patrick Mankou. 516 Main Bazaar, Shahdara, New Delhi, India. Due to my tight schedules I could not contact you earlier before now. The business later became successful with the cooperation of a new partner from India. Presently I'm in New Delhi with the partner for some projects. Meanwhile,I did not forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in that process despite that it failed us at that time. Now, I want you to contact my secretary,his name is Mr Ruben Moussa and his email address is: rubenbeninbjbj@yahoo.fr ask him to send you the total sum of ( $800,000.00) which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in that matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. So feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mr Ruben Moussa and instruct him where to send the Draft to you. Please do let me know immediately you contact him to receive it, so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. In the moment,I am very busy here because of the projects which I and the new partner are having at hand. Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to my secretary on your behalf to receive that Draft, so feel free to get in touch with Mr Ruben Moussa and he will send the Draft to you without any delay. NOTE THE EMAIL AGAIN, rubenbeninbjbj@yahoo.fr Finally, take note of this CODE, when you contact him do present this SECRET CODE FOR security reasons : 555 don't fail. Best regards, Mr Patrick Mankou

My favorite part of this email is the well structured grammar. If I wasn't so jaded, I would have thought for sure that this was the same Patrick Mankou that I performed some outrageously low priced service for about 3 years ago when I was abroad. However, THAT Patrick Mankou spoke the Queen's english and wrote with the eloquence of a poet, so it was the composition and structure of this email that gave me pause.

At first I thought perhaps my good friend Patrick Mankou (from New Delhi - where I have never been, but would love to visit some day) had suffered some form of crippling brain injury. Or perhaps was writing to me while under the influence of the $800,000 service I had provided him awhile back. (Law enforcement officers readings this - this is satire, please don't break down my door. Thank you.)

Now, I have to give everyone a little word of warning, this is criminal spam. They goal of this email is to get you to contact them. They will then ask for your bank number in order to deposit this money you earned (according to the email) into your bank account. Well, surprise, there is no money coming to you. In fact, the money only flows one way in this transaction and that is out. IF you are silly enough to think that this is a legitimate email, and you are desperate enough to follow up on it, then hats off to your and so long life savings.

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